I look at him sleeping sometimes, and I miss moments before their arrival. anticipation turns memory and dream, something familiar. My mother says I should not be so serious about love just yet, I am young and life needs teach me more of itself. I do not see the need (or the possibility) of outgrowing this one blessing, my spirit has vowed it so.
Washington is dry air, toco heat and dull shades- grey and pastel. I should get used to cold nights by the time we leave here. the poetry festival started yesterday, some hundred miles from here....and I am still on the polar end of the country. What miss yuh ain't pass yuh. Things will come up...maybe. I've recognized the need to start over, from scratch. everything, poems included.
I have not written much since I left home. I am still building image in my head. who I am here, and now. there will be change. Responsibility will make me woman and I will choose how I should live. I cannot move forward until I have consulted with my God, and made a fast. I cannot think straight enough to write on crooked lines, for myself, not here.
School is on its way. It seems a long way off for me still, but that too will pass quickly. I am tired of shopping. It must stop. now. I would like to spend more time relaxing, thinking and sleeping long hours rather than running around everywhere like sales were salvation.
This week should lend more quiet. less tears, more love and greater peace.
1 comment:
ariii *hugs* be strong girl, if i can do it(leave trinidad and start a new life in a different country)then you can too ! i just read this random blog entry(cuz it appeared on my fb page) and i'm compelled to write and tell you that what you're going thru is all sooo normal, i went thru the same thing 2yrs ago ! it was like reading what my own mind couldnt summarize when i was in ur shoes back then. so carry on with your head held high chick, i'll write soon, i promisee(i know i've been crap at writing lately)
xoxoxoxxoxo
kel :) :)
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