To: the almost of Spring.

It's an near-spring night and I wonder if the sky outside is as clear as it had been on my late walk home yesterday. It was beautiful. I felt my heart say something like "thank you brooklyn". It finally wasn't too cold to look upwards, bare-necked and hatless. The world is beginning to look familiar again.

Commie Torres, an extremely talented young man who I met at Trinity East High School a few years ago was shot last Monday night in Arima. After dealing with the shock, it really made me think on how it's like everyday we're walking among the potentially dead. It's a morbid kind of thought, but truly how does one go from being so full of breath to cold body? I remember being chained back to back with him in a performance and how life happens off stage and suddenly that other body, that sturdy back, that web of hair doesn't exist anymore. It's humbling. Actors know about living in moments. What happens when moments stop living then? Warrior, Rest in Peace.

I am working on embracing my development as a woman. What it means to now have all of relationship, education and career all at once. I'm still working out the balancing act, but I think I'm managing relatively well. I'm also working on a college production of the Vagina Monolouges for the end of this month, and a spring concert with the church choir that the prodigal daughter returned to. I am trying to be as healthy as possible in the midst of the fasting and minimal gym time. I am trying to embrace life and confront it. I sometimes feel like it's not hugging me back, but squeezing the life out of me. Hugs are nice though. Don't think I've hugged another human for at least 3 months now. True Story.

I've realized that I could be quiet at Trinidad and still get around and be normal. My being quiet in New York is a survival no-no. I've realized that because I'm so quiet and opinionated that people just sort of let you be in your corner, kind of thing. You are officially a 'troubled' child. I'm not anti-social...or shy. I just think that generally people talk too much useless rubbish. So I avoid the vocal. Of my very few performances here, I think they were that impactful because I'm not your typical black loud woman. Unassuming...and that works for me....but it def. worked better at home.

I'm about to travel one hour into the future. Clock switch.